Home...Ahhhhhh

I'm sitting in the dining room with a cup of tea listening to mom practice the piano. It is so refreshing to be here. The smell of my special old house, the feel of aged wood in every room, the creaky swing on the porch, the soft sheets and feather down pillows on my bed, the backyard surrounded by tall Michigan trees. I need this, sometimes. it's nice to come back and see everything that I saw as a child, and also see everything that's new (fun little additions which mom discovers to make this home even more enchanting). Of course, I always accumulate a handful of goodies to take home with me (so far, a very cool new set of measuring spoon style cups, an antique pastry cutter (which I will be using to make buscuits), and an old clock. Today, we will be painting a couple rocking chairs. Tomorrow we go to the farmer's market (and I'm going to buy lots of blueberries!). I hope also to touch bases with two of my most special life-long friends while I'm here. I do miss my Prince Charming and long for him, but am refreshed always by a little time away just to dream of him :) Well, I need to do a little clean up of myself here...so I leave off until next time I'm inspired to chat with you, my few and seldom readers!

A Little Weepy

I feel terribly guilty for ignoring this blog. I have always believed that if you make one...you should keep it going; besides, it's a good way to keep friends informed. Well, it's not that I've forgotten about this...just that I've been struggling with what to say. I'm supposed to be a writer. I mean, four years ago I had every intention and probabability of being published with a little work. I guess it's just that I've become so busy living life...I struggle to find the time to write about it...and perhaps have turned my back on the habit of analyzing it.

I do sortof miss being able to sit down and write about a million things: thoughts, ideas, dreams. Perhaps God will bring me back to that place as time goes on and I need a venue for my mind, but right now I'm just sortof existing. Don't get me wrong...I'm doing things, life is exciting and full...just not writable.

Today (this last week, really) I'm a little weepy. I dunno...just a culmination of good, bad, disappointing, exciting, new and old. Last week Luke was gone for four days. Those were the hardest four days I've had in a while. Not only did I get very little sleep without him, I was also spending my time with beloved grandparents who are reaching what I find to be the most terrifying and heartbreaking part of their lives. It was so hard to bring them joy and just "continue on" while all the time things are crumbling apart in those two lives. It set me thinking in ways I haven't in soooo long.

Luke and I have been making some important decisions lately, one being to stay in this apartment for a few more years before "upgrading". The reason being that we feel passionately the need to use our finances for God...and if we stay here, we have the freedom to give wherever there is need. If we move into a house, that freedom will be gone. So, as I have readjusted my thinking in this area, the apartment's lack of organization and over-abundance of stuff is screaming at me. I've just got to "spring clean" before fall! Trouble is, I'm not a naturally organized person, and I'm a totally natural collector by nature. Wish me luck....

Possibly the only reason I'm sitting here typing, is because I haven't showered, there are dishes that need done, and a carpet that desperately needs vacuumed after the intense play of my three nieces yesterday--and I just don't feel like doing it. My morning started with a very unexpected phone call bringing very unexpected family news. Then it continued with another phone call that felt very unsatisfactory, and then another phone call the ended in me hanging up because I was "steaming". Then I made my own phone call looking for sympathy (never a good tactic)...and didn't get it.

So, I'm still sitting here like a blob, wishing someone would come over and make me tea...just because I'm being naughty....and won't make it for myself.

Please don't sympathize. I'd rather you just laugh at me.



I did make my bed.