The Girl I Mean To Be

I need a place where I can go
Where I can whisper what I know
Where I can whisper who I like
And where I go to see them

I need a place where I can hide
Where no one sees my life inside
Where I can make my plans and write them down
So I can read them

A place where I can bid my heart be still
And it will mind me
A place where I can go when I am lost
And there I’ll find me

I need a place to spend the day
Where no one says to go or stay
Where I can take my pen and draw
The girl I mean to be.

From Broadway’s “The Secret Garden”

Pictures for Fun

I love my dog. And, I love Cardinals. I took these pictures at my grandma's house before work. I worked so hard to get Lucy to look at the camera, and finally, when she did, I looked away. Oops.

What should I name it?

I'm considering calling it "The Dead Sea"
because it is so covered in salt. (ha ha)

"These are the Times that Try Men's Souls..."

"The Summer Soldier, and the Sunshine Patriot, shall, in this crisis, Shrink from the service....bla bla..." (had it all memorized at one time)

Here's some more on my week: got pulled over for no license plate, work, work, work, TONS of coffee, driving to the hospital in Ames every night, etc.

Last night I spent the night with Gramma at the hospital. It was a long night. Gramma doesn't even have the strength to pray. She's too exhausted and in pain to want any visitors (unfortunately, they'll keep coming). It hurts so much to see her inability to even talk much. I pray that she will heal!!! It's so scary, because you sit there and wonder: what if she doesn't get better? What if her body is too worn out to recover from such intensive surgery?

Gramma is the one who taught me what real faith is. She is the one who taught me that I don't have to be a greek and hebrew scholar to read God's Word. She is the one that taught me how beautiful you can be without being in style. She is the one who accepts all my silly little delights and interests as if they matter as much as anything in the world. I can show her my prairie dog pictures and she'll brag about them as if I just painted a Mona Lisa. She's the one who calls me her "Sunshine" (can you imagine?).

Grandpa finally got to visit her yesterday. He even made a big deal about dressing nice for her. Can you imagine being 92 and still wanting to look nice for your wife?

So yes, I'm tired; yes, I'm so tense my jaw is sore from clenching my teeth; yes, I want to cry; yes, I'm way too busy to cry; BUT MOST OF ALL--I'm thankful.

I'm thankful to be near my dear grandparents, in a time when I can serve them as they have served me for so long. I'm thankful that God helped me get a new car with good gas mileage the very day I needed one to drive to Ames (it's crazy how much driving I've done this week). I'm thankful that God has protected me (the roads have been icy, I almost got hit head on last night-it should have been a sure accident, God must've been holding my car in His hands). I'm thankful that all this driving has given me a lot of time to talk to God.

I'm thankful for coffee. : )

Just a Quick Update

This week has been a continuation of craziness. Gramma went into ER Monday night and had surgery last night (those of you who know me well, know that this is very hard for me as there's nobody I love more, except maybe my parents). I spent the night with my 92 year old Grandpa, and barely slept a wink because I woke at every creek to see if he was okay. We played harmonicas, listened to cowboy music, and read stories out loud (anything I could think of that Gramma would normally do with him). Gramma will probably be in the hospital for a few more days. It's pretty tough on Grandpa because it's the first time that he can't be with her at the hospital--and he misses her terribly. I'm just SO grateful to God for allowing me to be near at a time when I can help.

I got my new car yesterday and already had to drive it through a snow storm. It's a '99 Honda Civic: bigger, heavier, prettier, and gets better gas than my old junker. With all the driving I will be doing this week to the hospital (40 minutes away) and to Grandpa's (25 minutes away) I am really excited for the car (even though it will take a while to pay for--the guy almost changed his mind about selling it to me!). I've decided that this will be my praying car (I plan to do a lot of praying in it).

I'd just like to say here, that over the last week and a half that I had no car, God took care of me through so many kind people. The agents at my office gave me rides to and from work (which really is out of their way because their schedules are different than mine). Shawn picked me up when my car broke down (took him almost 2 hours to find me) and has given me rides to church. People have picked up groceries for me when I needed them. My uncle got my car towed and helped me to find a new one. Wow, right?

I am now being trained as a Closing Coordinator (do closings on sold houses), and to do the advertising in all the papers (Marketing). I am very overwhelmed, and am also thinking I should get higher pay since I will be a combination of 3 important jobs! But, hey, at least I'll be more marketable when I want to look for a new job!

Well, that's about it. (All of you can thank Donna Kris for this long post!)

Christmas Ball Below

More Prairie Dogs for Mom

I joined the Dark Side

But don't worry! Yoda Killed Me (my boss obviously isn't up to par on Star Wars). Um, the costume was definitely for a tall man.

Cars are not Christ-like

Cars are completely unfaithful and not to be trusted. Regardless of the kind and financially generous care I have given my car, it still decided to let me down last night by dying in the middle of a busy city in rush hour traffic. I'm very thankful that Iowa people are polite and did not honk or give me the finger. So I may have to resort to old-fashioned walking again.

Where the Music Goes...

Crazy Day

I left the apartment today to discover that my car was gone!!! In its place was a large hill of snow. I think maybe I need to go buy that scraper that I keep forgetting about.

I spun on ice on the way to work and barely missed hitting another car. Yeah, I’m not a pro at winter driving (am very glad, now, that mom and dad made me buy those expensive new tires for my car).

I was told today by our HR personnel that I can no longer get paid Salary because I don’t make enough money! (So give me a raise—duh!)

I’ve been sick for about a week. Lots of gunk came out of my head today (sinus infection?)…I’m happy, because that means it is no longer in my head!!! (yeah, you're all wishing I had kept this bit to myself)

Sara Williams wrote the sweetest post to me in her blog. I’m flying high now!

Mom and Dad are coming to visit me tomorrow…hurray! (Um, Dad, my car's due for an oil change...hint hint)