Journaling

The lights on my gloriously cheerful Christmas tree have just blown a fuse for the second time. Perhaps God is easing my disappointment in taking it down now that Christmas is over. I love it and could leave it up forever! I've just been drinking some chai tea (I really wanted Holiday tea...but used it up weeks ago), eating a chocolate and peanut butter truffle, and reading A Legacy of Love by Ruth Graham. This morning I was a little "shook-up". As I tried to bundle up my fussy toddler so that I could run to the grocery store (not something I enjoy), I realized that I had left his boots-expensive boots-at the mall yesterday when I was changing his diaper. And, trust me, that trip to the mall was not worth my toddler's boots!

Christmas always makes me feel like I'm on emotional steroids. So much joy and grief bundled together. I rejoice in the salvation given to me, and cry over a family full of unbelievers who are suffering so terribly-even for unbelievers. I love the gifts I give and receive and feel totally at a loss in how to truly show the love of Christ. I'm overwhelmed by God's grace and disappointed in my failure to live righteously.

Back to my original thought: I am sitting by my fire and reading my book, and it was like honey to a sore thoat! To read about the sweet joy and peace and humor that Ruth Graham shared with her children in the midst of heartaches, and to see the wonderful habits she had and the godly legacy she left gives me a bright standard! It was her example of journaling-her love for writing-that inspired me to write today. I'd really given up on writing in the last couple years...but I think I'll try again!

I've found the crazy mixture of wonderful things and horrible things in life fascinating lately. I want to learn to respond to it all with the purity of God. I may try to write about it more...but for now, my son is waking up!

Christmas in the Air

1 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,

bless his holy name!

2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits,

3 who forgives all your iniquity,

who heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit,

who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

5 who satisfies you with good

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

6 The Lord works righteousness

and justice for all who are oppressed.

7 He made known his ways to Moses,

his acts to the people of Israel.

8 The Lord is merciful and gracious,

slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

9 He will not always chide,

nor will he keep his anger forever.

10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,

nor repay us according to our iniquities.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

12 as far as the east is from the west,

so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

13 As a father shows compassion to his children,

so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

14 For he knows our frame;

he remembers that we are dust.

15 As for man, his days are like grass;

he flourishes like a flower of the field;

16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,

and its place knows it no more.

17 But the steadfast love of the Lord

is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,

and his righteousness to children's children,

18 to those who keep his covenantand remember to do his commandments.

19 The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,

and his kingdom rules over all.

20 Bless the Lord, O you his angels,

you mighty ones who do his word,

obeying the voice of his word!

21 Bless the Lord, all his hosts,

his ministers, who do his will!

22 Bless the Lord, all his works,

in all places of his dominion.

Bless the Lord, O my soul!

"The More I Seek YOU"

The more I seek You

The more I find You

The more I find You

The more I love You

I wanna sit at Your feet

Drink from the cup in Your hand

Lay back against You and breath

Feel Your heartbeat

This love is so deep

It's more than I can stand

I melt in Your peace

It's overwhelming
song by Kari Jobe

Rabbits for a change

I couldn't resist...

Soulful Longing

I have a deep soul-longing to be God's beloved. The sweetness of this is that, although my faith can't fathom it very well, God has already embraced me as His. The creeping, dark doubts that tell me how hugely I fail, cannot and will not have victory over His purpose for my life. Whether I'm crushed to produce a sweet aroma, or raised up to shine like a city on a hill, I will seek Him with my soul. I will relentlessly look for Him to be the meaning of my life. And I know He will make me what I am not.

There is a great sadness for some of my family, because they are waiting to embrace Jesus once He makes sense to them. It breaks my heart, because it will never make sense until they embrace Him. Faith takes the step before it has the answer. And only faith will satisfy their souls.

May God increase and satisfy my yearning for Him to be close to me. And-as Ruth Graham said-may I be all that is loveliness and laughter.

My Darling so Sober