Tea: a drink with jam and bread....

Frozen in Time:
My cup of tea
A favorite decorating magazine
A sweetly sketched mouse

Tea is a big deal

I am a “tea extremist”. I’ve been thoroughly seduced by it’s subtle tastes and quaint ways. The truth is, tea is a really big deal to me. I drink it all day long at work. I drink it out of a tea cup…not a mug. The reason is because I do not want to be defined by my job…but I want to define my job—and my life. Tea represents something for me: a sense of the old fashioned, the refined, the feminine. It also represents something almost non-existent: time. I know that if I have time to make a pot of tea, and at least drink one cup of it…I have time. Maybe it is only fifteen minutes, or maybe it is while doing some other project, but nonetheless, it’s there…claimed by me for the sole purpose of savoring. And I flatter myself that it has the great health benefit of not being coffee. Tea gives me the excuse to pull out fine china and silver that is never normally used. Or how about those sugar cubes that you only see in movies? Tea Time is my time. It is a time to tell my body to relax. It is a choice I make to not be mediocre...to not let modern culture conquer my potently unique personality.

Review of a Year

I realized just this month that I have now been in Iowa for over a year. It seems like I have lived here longer than that. I guess it is because so much has happened. It is always good to review where one has come from…and I am going to try.

14 months ago: I was working at School-To-Career Progressions, a non-profit organization in Grand Rapids. All my coworkers were men. I started out making a very small salary, and it was when I gave my notice that my boss offered me a bonus and a good raise if I would stay. In 6 months, I had not been able to find a church or a friend. Because I had no social life, I began painting again more earnestly and I went home on the weekends. I learned that being unequally yoked includes living with unbelieving roommates…not just being married to one. My faith in the church wavered, and I felt that much of Christianity is shallow and selfish. I shed a lot of my own assumptions about Christianity…leaving me in a painful spot of insecurity. I became terribly discouraged, my overwhelming thought: “is this all God has for me?”

August 28th, I packed up everything and moved to Iowa. At this point, I did not have high hopes for life…just for a better job. Tired of looking for a church, I began attending my roommate’s church (interestingly-an African American church). I thought perhaps it would be different…but it was not. I started dating (mostly because of my lack of will to not date the pushy guy). Dating only made me more insecure. I was desperate enough for a job that I started walking door to door, and within one day, I had two job offers. I ended up in Real Estate—Whooda thunk! My career expanded as I went from Office Manager to Closer for the Realty Agency within a few months. All this time I was still lonely and discouraged. My roommate situation was still pretty bad. Surprisingly, the nicest friends I had were some ladies who I met through work. They reached out to me in God’s love at times when I was in great need. A good thing in my life all this time was my Grandma, who I visited faithfully every weekend.

By November, I was beginning to understand the dark struggle within me. I was beginning to see why I had not been able to handle “post-college” life. All the intellectualism and all the “anti-spiritualism” had left me with a weak God, although I had never stopped believing that at some point, He would step in and pull me out of the darkness. This realization opened up my heart once more for a great miracle through the Holy Spirit. A verse caught my eye one night: Psalm 9:10, and as I read that verse, I realized that I was living as if God had abandoned me, and I could drop all the imprisoning intellectualism and I could have power through faith. So I left the church, broke up with the boyfriend, and started taking baby steps toward a more Spirit-filled life. I began believing in a Powerful God again…and a God who would never, ever forsake me.

January came with a whole new life waiting for me. I visited a non-denominational church (and was quite nervous about it). I was now ready to live for God passionately, no matter what…and was NOT looking for another relationship. But God knew better than I, and I found Luke irresistible. He was the worship leader and was everything I had ever imagined. As Luke and I became better friends, I also became more involved in the church. I had now realized that I would most likely never fit in to a Baptist church, because I no longer agreed with some of the distinctives and I no longer fit in with that group of people or their way of life. It only took about a month for Luke and I to be sure beyond doubt that we wanted to get married. But we still planned to wait a year. In the meantime, I got offered at job at a bigger real estate agency, and accepted it after some deliberation. One day, Luke surprised me at my apartment with the life-changing question: why do we need to wait until next year to get married? And that was that. I’m now married almost two months, and learning a whole new way of life.

I admit, it isn’t all easy. I have a lot to learn. I’m still trying to figure out how in the world I can buy groceries that last for more than 4 days. I’m trying to drive into my brain that I need to come home from work and fix a good dinner…even when I don’t feel like it. I’m trying to cope with the busyness that takes the place of my beloved visits to Grandma, quiet evenings painting, and weekends with a book. I still have to get used to the fact that I can’t just go to a store and buy a pair of shoes if I want to. (Don’t get me wrong…Luke would never say no, I just realize I have to be more considerate with my money, now). I have to overcome silly insecurities like singing around Luke (musicians intimidate me). And a biggie: I have to learn how to communicate when I’m upset…no more withdrawing.

On the wonderful side, Luke is so kind and gentle and the man of my dreams! When I hear a scary noise in the apartment, I’ve got someone to tell me it’s okay. When I’m sad, sometimes I get flowers, and always I get prayer. Almost anytime I want to talk, I have a ready listener—even in the night. Dreams of traveling, motherhood, and a cottage in the country are attainable now. I get a wonderful breakfast every morning! My car, smoke detector, door handles, etc. all get fixed. We visit the Lake House (our honeymoon spot) at least a couple times a month. I’m slowly (and awkwardly, I must say) learning how to dance to different kinds of music. Marriage has made me see and want to change areas of weakness in my life that I never considered that big a deal before (it’s painful, yet refreshing, to be challenged to a higher standard of “living in the Spirit.”) I believe my marriage to Luke will make me more like Christ than I ever could have gotten on my own. And so, in a year, I’ll write another review!

The Coolest Thing!

A few months ago, I wanted to do a painting of something in Scotland for my friend, JoyAnna. Well, I looked through my Scotland magazines and pictures on the internet, and finally picked a cool castle. It was a little bit silly, but it was a neat painting and it was Scotland.

Well, JoyAnna just returned from a two week trip to Scotland, and what do you think! She actually ended up visiting that castle. We both are excited because it makes the painting even more meaningful! Here is a picture JoyAnna took which looks just like the painting!

Click on the title to see the painting.

Tea Party

Olivia (2 yrs. old) says, "I'd like sugar in my tea, please, ma'am, thank you."

Sabrina (6 yrs. old) offers us milk and sugar and reminds us to turn our tea cup over if we don't want any more.

We broke out the antique hats.

Olivia felt that "Lukey" should have a hat and tea, too.

***

We made snickerdoodle cookies, which Olivia faithfully helped to roll in cinnemon and sugar. I got my hand caught in the mixer-ouch! We also watched Narnia and played with American Girl dolls, paper dolls, and My Little Ponies.

Mom's Hand Stitching; My Happy Colors

Little Life Things...

I was thinking I would just list a few thoughts and going-ons this morning.

Last night I went to a meeting for the leaders of the church and their wives. I went with a stomach ache and a discouraged heart...as I got up to leave, one of the women pulled me aside to ask how things were going. In a few minutes, all the leaders of the church were in a circle around me praying for me, for my health, for my faith, etc. It was unexpected and so renewing. There's nothing like having people of faith pray for you for a long time when you're feeling like a weak Christian.

Luke made breakfast again this morning: fruit, eggs, bacon, and toasted bagels. What a sweetheart!

Tonight I get to have my nieces over for a couple hours! We are going to have a tea party with our dolls. We are going to make snickerdoodle cookies. And we might even try on some antique hats from my old collection. I'm soooo excited...they are just the most darling girls! (They are the two little girls in my post called "digital fun")

It's funny, but I've been thinking about Christmas a lot lately. I guess it's because I get to share it with Luke this year. Plus, I have lots more family, which means more celebrations. I'm going home for Christmas day. We also will get together with Luke's family and then with his grandparents. I'm excited because I like Christmas to last as long as possible!

My friend, JoyAnna has been in Scotland for a week now, and she sends me pictures each day! It's really nice because we had always planned to go together. I tell her that I couldn't have two great things happen in the same year :) But the pictures help me to feel a little bit like I'm there.

I wore brown corduroy pants and an orange knit top today (because it's freezing!) and my husband says I look like a pumpkin!

Random: the sun shines in the window just right so that it reflects off my contact in my right eye...and so this little circle of light glides across the desk, computer screen, phone, etc. (wherever I turn my eye).

I'm discovering that I do actually like to cook, I just need to feel like I have the time and energy. My favorite things to cook are things that fill the apartment with a homey aroma: bread, pot roast, cookies, etc).

I guess that I could go on...but you get the idea...this gives you a glimpse of my little thoughts and occurances. :) Life is simple and beautiful! (I know, it is also complicated and ugly...but my goal is to never dwell on that).

Coolest Wedding Present

A lady who I don't know bought white towels we had registered for and added this monogram to them! I don't even want to use them, they're so pretty!

So Why Am I So Ordinary?...

I read a quote this morning and it stimutated this thought. The truth-the very God-based truth-is that I am not. In fact, there is nothing ordinary about me. I'm a writer. I'm an artist. I can sit down and decorate a dollhouse as if I was eight years old. When my smile shines...people fall in love with me. I have a love of nature that would almost be New Agey except that instead it causes me to love God more. I can make a room look like a magazine picture. I can laugh and poke fun at my stupidity in running into an SUV and putting a hole in my car (happened yesterday). I don't wear foundation, mascara, or eyeliner (quite an oddity around here). I drink at least 6 cups of tea at work every day. I don't own a hair brush. Whenever I hold a baby in my arms, I dance. I've lived through intense hardships, and God has never taken His hand off me. I've overcome deep failures, deep doubts, and deep hurts solely through the power of the Holy Spirit (I might add that was a result of faith in God's power...something that for a while I acted as though wasn't enough to help me). I love good smells, fresh air, stormy days, daydreaming, baking bread, sitting in cafes with a journal and coffee, laughing over old stories, phones that don't ring, and music that makes me nastolgic for history I was never a part of. I've been married 6 weeks and still haven't changed my name anywhere (I mean anywhere). I would rather stay home and clean a bathroom than go shopping for groceries. I only like happy colors.

Okay, you get the point. So, back to my question...why am I so ordinary? For that matter, why are you? Your list is as long as mine, and different, and maybe even more unique. So why do we act like we are all the same. Why do we go through each day as if we have nothing over the next person, and they have nothing over us? We are so afraid of infringing on each others' insecurities, of replacing humility with pride, of looking like we want to stand out, that we try to downplay our extraordinary personalities.

Now to take that to a new level: why, as Christians, do we act like we are little weaklings who can't overcome sin and the only way we can reach unbelievers is to look like them? God gave us POWER. God is in us! We can move mountains. We can shun demons. We can understand Scripture. Those are not ordinary things, friends, and they aren't things of the past. Sometimes, I think, when we feel bored with life...it is because we have chosen to be boring...we have chosen the ordinary over the extraordinary. That makes me sad...because my life could be so much more.

Digital Fun!

I think I would really enjoy photography...I just see something in pictures that most people don't (not necessarily better...just me). I love to crop and change colors and resize! These are just a few I have been playing around with. Here's an idea...people could send me their pictures (digitally) and I could edit them and send them back looking professional! Whoo Hoo...I'm off to start a new career!

Sometimes the Elderly are Right

This last weekend, Luke and I drove home to Michigan for an open house to allow our friends to meet Luke and celebrate our marriage-as they were not able to attend the wedding. We had a sweet time. The house was beautiful. Everyone stayed and watched the DVD of the wedding, visited and just enjoyed the time together. It was small and simple-just the way I like things to be. And the last ones did not leave until at least an hour past the time for the open house to end.

What was interesting, was that 99% of the people who attended the open house were elderly, and I didn't even know most of them. They were kind, and their attendance showed Mom and Dad that they really cared and were happy for them.

What was also interesting is that only one person showed up who I hoped would come. Where were all the others? It didn't even enter my mind that they might not come...it was inconceivable. I didn't get cards or emails saying they couldn't come. They just didn't. And honestly, at that moment, I was very proud of the elderly, who with all their faults and all their "stubbornesses", at least are polite and caring enough to attend or to send a card, even though they barely knew me.

I'm not posting this in order to whine about my disappointment in not seeing the people who I had hoped to, but to BRAVO those dear old people who showed me they cared. It kindof renewed my respect for them, with their time-old standards of etiquette and their experienced appreciation for marriage.

It is easy to feel annoyed that the elderly cannot change and mold into the culture like the rest of us. I myself have been ungracious at times...only seeing them as "closed minds" who choose rules in place of growth. But, even if that is sometimes true, they also value things which we should never have given up. Although their sense of etiquette is old-fashioned, I hope to have just such a sense!