The Miracle
I am one of those vague set of people sometimes termed the self-righteous, middle class, spiritual bubble kind of people. I have lately caught myself longing to be the tax-collector and sinner that the Lord loves and befriends...instead of the good girl that I am.
Ok...maybe I'm not such a richly clothed pharisee! Maybe I am the poor naked sinner who has nothing to offer a great King. Maybe I am the weary traveller who needs rest. I'm the wife who wonders at people's deep depression and yet only a year and a half ago cut my arms in response to feelings of desperation. I know I need to study my Bible...and instead sit here writing an unimportant blog entry. I have all day to do anything I want...and I don't vacuum the carpet that I know probably bothers my husband. I know the Holy Spirit provides power, and faith moves mountains...but all I humbly ask for is faith to not "do anything wrong" today. I'm afraid of asking God to save my own family for fear of it not happening, and I'm afraid to begin much needed excercise because I don't want to be "into" my appearance. Yeah. A wretch, right?
And yet there is a miracle for me. The miracle that Jesus didn't offer his rest to the strong...but to the weary. He didn't clothe the wealthy, but the naked. In fact, it is easier for a poor wretch like me to be a child of God than for the most beautiful, wealthy, smart, able and self-sufficient woman. In my pride, I claw and scratch at the walls of my prison cell; I slam my body into the unforgiving bars of the door. And all the while God is standing right there with the keys-just waiting for me to realize I can't get out on my own-He holds the keys of death itself! And the paradox: the girl who tries so hard to do things in her own strength is saved by something and Someone she can take no credit for. The girl that has tendencies toward fear, procrastination, doubt, and cynicysm is a righteous and holy princess stepping into the Truth. The simple minded fool is given the answer that can save the world! The twenty-four-year-old adult is a child believing an amazing story....
And I ask God to make me the greatest fool for Him...to believe all that humanity denies possible, to let Jesus break my rules, to transcend this physical life that claims there is no such thing as a soul, and leap the chasm of intellectualism that says the only real truth is truth that can be explained.
Ok...maybe I'm not such a richly clothed pharisee! Maybe I am the poor naked sinner who has nothing to offer a great King. Maybe I am the weary traveller who needs rest. I'm the wife who wonders at people's deep depression and yet only a year and a half ago cut my arms in response to feelings of desperation. I know I need to study my Bible...and instead sit here writing an unimportant blog entry. I have all day to do anything I want...and I don't vacuum the carpet that I know probably bothers my husband. I know the Holy Spirit provides power, and faith moves mountains...but all I humbly ask for is faith to not "do anything wrong" today. I'm afraid of asking God to save my own family for fear of it not happening, and I'm afraid to begin much needed excercise because I don't want to be "into" my appearance. Yeah. A wretch, right?
And yet there is a miracle for me. The miracle that Jesus didn't offer his rest to the strong...but to the weary. He didn't clothe the wealthy, but the naked. In fact, it is easier for a poor wretch like me to be a child of God than for the most beautiful, wealthy, smart, able and self-sufficient woman. In my pride, I claw and scratch at the walls of my prison cell; I slam my body into the unforgiving bars of the door. And all the while God is standing right there with the keys-just waiting for me to realize I can't get out on my own-He holds the keys of death itself! And the paradox: the girl who tries so hard to do things in her own strength is saved by something and Someone she can take no credit for. The girl that has tendencies toward fear, procrastination, doubt, and cynicysm is a righteous and holy princess stepping into the Truth. The simple minded fool is given the answer that can save the world! The twenty-four-year-old adult is a child believing an amazing story....
And I ask God to make me the greatest fool for Him...to believe all that humanity denies possible, to let Jesus break my rules, to transcend this physical life that claims there is no such thing as a soul, and leap the chasm of intellectualism that says the only real truth is truth that can be explained.
posted by Elizabeth | 2:14 PM
2 Comments:
A miracle is truly a great gift isn't it?
You are tasting God's grace and it is intoxicating. You will always be flawed one way or another in this lifetime and praise God for it. Embrace it. Relax. Otherwise, you wouldn't know what grace is. The ones who know how much they are forgiven for are the ones who love Him best.
This is not an unimportant blog entry...I remember a quote Dr. Carter once used from Martin Luther..."Sometimes it is more godly to wash the dishes than it is to read your Bible."
Sometimes it is more godly to blog and praise God for his grace than to study the Bible more and not express it's truth to other people.
Post a Comment
<< Home